Writing Cover Letters Sucks.

Micheal Scott

Dear Mr. Wallace,

I am writing to express my unbridled enthusiasm for the sales position listed on your fabulous company website. I have long admired Dunder Mifflin for its relentless commitment to paper and office supplies—and also because it's right here in Scranton! It is my firm belief that my background in selling high-quality ceramic figurines (quite breakable, so they require expert handling, much like premium paper) perfectly aligns with the sales skills required at Dunder Mifflin.

As a natural leader—I was voted "Most Likely to Take Over the World" in my high school yearbook—I am confident in my ability to motivate others and turn every situation into an opportunity. I have successfully increased sales by 50% year-over-year in my current role by implementing strategic marketing tactics such as standing outside with a sign dressed as a cowboy. It’s this kind of innovative thinking I would bring to your sales team.

Moreover, I am incredibly adept at building relationships. My colleagues often describe me as "unforgettable," which I attribute to my extensive knowledge of jokes and magic tricks, ensuring that I am not just remembered as a salesperson but as an entertainer. I am enthusiastic about the possibility of bringing this same charisma and energy to the Dunder Mifflin family.

I am looking forward to the opportunity to further discuss how I can contribute to your team with the same fervor I bring to my weekly improvisational comedy performances. Thank you for considering my application. I am eager to bring my talents to Dunder Mifflin and work alongside people who are as passionate about paper as I am about making people smile.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your positive response and hopefully, to scheduling an interview where I can elaborate on my passion and qualifications. Please find my resume attached. I am more than ready to embark on my Dunder Mifflin journey and make it as successful as my run as Class President in the fifth grade.


Warm regards,
Michael Scott